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Some of my favourite one-liners

I have a reputation at my school for being the ‘bad joke’ teller.  I love ‘groaner’ jokes.  I love incorporating humour in my classroom in just about every lesson. (I wait a week or two into the school year before I show this side of myself to my students so that I can set a proper tone in my class so that my students know exactly what I expect from them.  Once the “lines” of mutual respect are well established, then I start incorporating the humour.)

One of the things I like to do is to post a new ‘ponderism or joke of the day’ just outside of my classroom door every day.Currently, I have a database of 278 of them!  (Of course, being one of the computer geeks of the school, I have them in a database so that I can print a new one everyday with just a couple of clicks!)

Here are some of my favourites (please comment with some of your own so that I can add to my collection!):

Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?
If you put a slinky on an  escalator, will it go forever?
Why isn’t there another word for synonym?
Is it true that cannibals don’t eat clowns because they complain that they taste funny?
If nothing sticks to Teflon, how do they get the Teflon to stick to the pots and pans?
Why do our noses run, but our feet smell?
Have you ever imagined a world without hypothetical situations?
Is it OK to go door-to-door selling “No Soliciting” signs?
Do Roman paramedics refer to IV’s as “fours”?
Whose cruel idea was it to put the letter ‘s’ in the word lisp?
Why do they report power outages on TV?
Since light travels faster than sound, is that why some people appear ‘bright’ until we hear them speak?
If you steal a clean slate, does it go on your record?
Would a fly that loses its wings be called a ‘walk’?
If a book about failures does not sell, is it a success?
Why is back pain medication often stored on the bottom shelf?

…and the list goes on!…


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