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Time for some Science Puns…

Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium and just couldn’t put it down?  –It was probably just light reading–

“This old pipe is rusty”, said Tom, ironically.

What to do if you are a dark cloud: uranium.

When someone leaves: they argon.

Essential element of politicians: tungsten.

Ratio of an igloo’s circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi

2000 pounds of Chinese soup = Won ton

1 millionth of a mouthwash = 1 microscope

Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement = 1 bananosecond

365.25 days of drinking low-calorie beer = 1 lite year

Half of a large intestine = 1 semicolon

1000 aches = 1 kilohurtz

Basic unit of laryngitis = 1 hoarsepower

Shortest distance between two jokes = A straight line

453.6 graham crackers = 1 pound cake

1 million microphones = 1 phone

1 trillion microphones = 1 megaphone

1 million bicycles = 2 megacycles

2000 mockingbirds = two kilomockingbirds

10 cards = 1 decacards

1 kilogram of falling figs =1 Fig Newton

1000 cubic centimeters of wet socks = 1 literhosen

2 monograms = 1 diagram

8 nickels = 2 paradigms


One Response

  1. I have one that I remember very well from high school.

    A piece of chalk of had fallen to the floor and you stared at it and went “rest in pieces”.

    Andy Kong, who sat behind me laughed immediately. I laughed 3 seconds afterwards, realizing it was supposed to be funny.

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